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ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI [22 Aug 2006|10:03pm]
[ mood | refreshed ]

After a nice vacation on the beach, I'm back to finish my Midwest tour where the only coast is the Mississippi River. In fact I think I saw Tina Turner rollin' on it back ner Exit 57!

First stop is St. Louis, Misery...err, Missouri, the Gateway to the West. There wasn't too much to do, so I hit up a bar for some drinks. Being only 1 ft tall, there's only so much alcohol I can take. Luckily I met a nice blonde Jammer to help me get up all those stairs! She even bumped the Rocky music from her iPod for me for inspiration.

Next she showed me around the capital and Busch (not to be confused with Bush) Stadium for a baseball game. No foam finger for me. John Loves Marlena! John Loves Marlena!


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HURRICANE COUNTRY, FLORIDA [17 Jul 2006|07:24pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

Spreading the gospel of John and Marlena is hard work, so I thought it was time I deserved a bit of a vacation. And where better to go than the place where all the girls have gone wild? sunny Florida! I'm crossing my fingers that I don't see any hurricanes while I'm here.

I was a bit jet-lagged after the flight, so I stopped to take a nap in a hammock on City Island Beach. We gnomes are severely vertically challenged, so I had to ask for a step ladder to get up here, but man, it was worth the climb! There's nothing like swaying in the summer breeze.

After resting up, I met up with some members of John and Marlena's numerous posse. All the sun was making us pretty thirsty, so we stopped off for a large Coke...a very large one! Caffeine! WHEEEE!!

While on my caffeine high, I ran into one of my most favorite woodland creatures...a squirrel! I'm highly trained in the art of squirrel tracking. You never know what that could come in handy.

The Jammers of Florida were doing such a good job of showing me around the Sunshine State. Unfortunately my drunken state, I accidently ate all the taquitos and one hungry Jammer threatened to drop me right in the middle of Worth St!

Luckily all was forgiven, so the gang and I headed off the Disneyworld. We took the super-modern, i.e. made in the 80s, DisneyWorld monorail. We said "aloha" to some of our favorite Disney characters. I asked them if they'd be interested in in making a new David the Gnome animated feature, but we're still in negotiations.

After our long day at the park, we went back to the DisneyWorld hotel and relaxed. Nothing better to get you in the mood than a little John and Marlena porn. SOAPnet??! I don't think so! This has to be like some pay-per-view channel, right?

My stay in Florida is coming to a close, so I head back out to the beach. I've got sand everywhere, but I had fun making sandcastles and smilie faces out of shells on Palm Beach. And lastly it's time for a nap...on Siesta Beach. Call me when my plane's gonna leave!

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San Diego, CA... part deux [04 Jun 2006|11:23pm]
[ mood | awesome, like me ]

Now, I would be lying if I told you my reason for coming to San Diego was for anything other than getting trashed. So I'll spare you the heroics and tell you about how I spent my Friday night sinning and converting others to the magic that is John and Marlena.

Me and my posse of good looking heathens decided to hit up a cool little joint called the Air Conditioned lounge. Now from the outside, it would appear to be a hole in the wall dive bar, but the inside is quite another story. It's the kind of place where aging hipsters, art brats, chilled out intellectuals, and other cool kids who don't mind a little pre thriller Michael Jackson mixed in with their new wave and their hip hop, and the perfect place to make new friends. We waited in line for a bit, but not long and not before I got carded! I think I look 21, don't you? Clearly the bouncer didn't think so, but we got that settled.

The male members of my entourage enjoyed using me as bait to lure hot chicks. One favorite pick up line of the night was "Hey, would you like to pet my gnome?" Needless to say, I was played with quite a bit. Many a love connection was made. And many a drink was consumed. All in all, I have to say it was a fabulous night. We topped it off with a little early morning Denny's where I had strawberry waffles, extra whipped cream. Had to pay my respects to John and Marlena, you know.

I'm still recovering from the fun, but it was well worth it.

PS: Hot dogs at 7-11 are yummy. But that may be the booze talking.

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Los Angeles, CA ... the sequel [29 Apr 2006|10:58pm]
[ mood | I am totally crushing ]

So here I am, back in the city of angels. First things first, more tanning. I want to glow when I meet my beloved, la santa Deidre Hall. I went up to Malibu, played in the sand, was accosted by 2 fans who lived in one of the beachfront apartments, and was invited for lunch. I never turn down an afternoon beer.

Afterwards, I decided to pay homage to my favorite, yet adorabley cheesy and hilarious, video, the Deidre Hall bio. Some of it was filmed on the Santa Monica pier, so I thought I'd take a look around, something I didn't get a chance to do the first time I was in LA. I guess a lot of fellow John and Marlena fans hang out here, cus I was instantly mobbed! I tried to get away by taking one of the bicycles, but alas, my feet couldn't reach the pedals. My presence was obviously causing a stir, and the police came out to escort me from the premises. Damn the man! Can't a brutha get some love up in here?

The answer to that? YES

I had those officers eating out of the palm of my hand, as well as other friendly new friends. One of them even treated me to drink or 8. Miss Sundria, if you are reading this, please, I want you to have my babies. I miss you boo! Call me!

And then it happened, the main event. First I met Wayne Northrop, who's character Alex North was a crazy, but worthy opponent to my favorite couple. I know he's giving a thumbs down here, but I ran into him in the bathroom later, and we chatted bro to bro, and I know he secretly loves J&M. Don't deny your inner Jammer, Waaaayne!

Now, the events as they unfolded from this moment on are a little hazy, but I will try to recount them as best as I can. Oh who am I fucking kidding. I met Deidre Hall and I was putty in this gorgeous woman's hands. She touched my beer mug, you know. And then she signed my jeans. Because I'm awesome like that. Deidre had heard of my travels, and commended me on my bravery and perseverance. Yes, I am the shit. And in luuuurve.

Peace out, LA.

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Myspace is Pimp [28 Mar 2006|02:34pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Just a break from your regularly scheduled entries to bring you the following:


Add him, kids! Because you are all his friends, and he's your friend too.

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Kauai, HI [10 Mar 2006|04:28pm]
[ mood | satisfied ]

There wasn't much time to hang around in NC though because soon I had hopped a plane to Hawaii, the Land of J&M's Honeymoon. I was ready to perform such sacred rituals as building a sandcastle with a heart on it and then smashing it, eating pineapples and whipped cream (what can I say, I'm totally into kink) reciting"how do I love thee...", and getting some color on my sexy belly. The midwest totally killed my tan, bro.

I stepped off the plane and right away I got lei'd! The hula chicks were all over me that I could barely make it to the room. Time to order a little room service...strawberries and a large coconut drink, please! If only I had Aloha Marbie here with me right now.....

A funny thing happened to me on the beach. I was sitting on the sand, just taking it in, when I thought I heard a woman crying for help. I looked around, and could faintly see something out in the distance. Instinctually, I wanted to investigate this, and I was all set to shed my uniform down to my red baywatch swim trunks, when I saw a submarine rising further out at sea. Needless to say, I quickly changed my mind. Better to be safe, than sorry. Seriously children, John shoulda let the skunk princess drown.

And back to my own personal homage to The J&M honeymoon of 1999 I went.

The view of paradise was definitely something else. But no sunset, or beautiful beach island coast can
ever compare to the beauty of John and Marlena.

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Greensboro, NC [01 Mar 2006|01:20am]
[ mood | calm ]

From the East Coast to the West Coast, everywhere I go, there are welcoming J&M fans ready to put me up on their couch with a beer and J&M tape. I arrived in North Carolina to that famous Southern hospitality. Right away I was like a member of the family. They even made me a football fan!

I visited the Old Millof Guilford. Now that Marlena has found her inner miracle bread baking skills, perhaps she and John could take a trip here and get back to some good ol' fashioned lovin'....er...butter churning.

I'd pass the lazy afternoons with my newfound canine friend, Hershey. He was a little intimidated by my awesome gnome presence at first, but he soon realized I bring nothing but love. It was nice to just chill after spending so much time in the big cities. Spreading the gospel of John and Marlena is tough work, but this little gnome is up to the challenge. I watched John and Marlena's 1999 wedding for inspiration: the dip kiss at the end just melts my little heart and suddenly I know where I must go next. Their spirit is strong with me and it calls me to Hawaii: The Land of J&M's Brief Honeymoon Bliss.

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Chicago, IL [19 Feb 2006|09:52am]
[ mood | chipper ]

I know Salem is around here, as I have found my way to what is known as "the midwest". I have traveled many, many miles in my little all-purpose flat rate box and my legs are starting to get cramped. Alas, I reach my destination! Breaking free of my cardboard confines, I jump out and land in a nice, warm, fluffy bed. I could get used to this.

There is no time to be lazy though as my adventure continued. The first stop was the Museum of Science and Industry. John and Marlena fans are quite the intellectuals and I was eager to explore the wonder that is chemistry. I must admit though that geometry was not one of my favorites; I just hate triangles!

Though I have already visited the famous Pier 29, I figured the Navy Pier would be a good place to spread forth the John and Marlena love. I must say I do not understand how this pier thing works here in the midwest, as it is landlocked, but I guess that if Salem can have a pier, so can Chicago.

On my way there, I was very pleasantly surprised to see a statue of the famous Bob Newhart. This guy must be a J&M fan! Did you know he is the former owner of Deidre Hall's house? Perhaps maybe he could give me some tips on how to sneak in. I have just got to see those 11 bathrooms!

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Mikwaukee, WI [02 Dec 2005|05:48pm]
[ mood | buzzing ]

"Did you know God is a baseball fan?" Ah, the Pit...only the beauty of J&M could shine though all that dirt, but yes, not only is God a baseball fan, but he's also a J&M fan!

Milwaukee: where beer, baseball, and divine J&M lovin' all come together. I visited Miller Park, home of the Brewers and stood before the great Robin Yount. I just love that this town is so centered on it's brewed alcoholic beverages. Soon after, I was getting might thirsty. I hung out with some of the crew at the brewery and they were so excited to see me! They gave me a tour and everything. Woot! New converts! It was quite educational, I assure you. Did you know that the oldest known recipe in the world is for beer? And did you know that 12 beers later, I *still* don't think John and Kate are hot? So much for those beer goggles.

But alas, danger loomed in the air. When I went to see the great Lake Michigan, I was attacked by a massive swarm of seagulls! I don't understand why they'd want to hurt little ol' me! I'm just a peaceful woodland creature!

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Uhh... Iowa [22 Nov 2005|08:12pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]

I decided to take a break from the urban scene and return to my woodland home. Frolicking through the forest made me feel young again. It was just like the forests I knew as a boy. There's nothing like jumping into a big pile of freshly fallen leaves.

One of the greatest and most famous stories of true love is the Bridges of Madison Country, so no trip to Iowa would be complete without visiting them. Luckily there were no trolls lurking underneath the bridges. Trolls and gnomes have historically not gotten along. We're on top of the bridges and they're underneath them; our kinds just don't mix.

Of course, no love story could ever compare to the epic of John and Marlena and it makes me proud to spread their story all throughout the countryside. Though the wind was strong and threatened to turn my sign into a sail, I pushed forward, determined to complete my mission.

I was finally able to seek refuge in an old white house, which I found out was really the birthplace of John Wayne. I see much of his commanding cowboy style in John Black. He's a classic hero, the perfect one to save his lady love, Marlena.

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HOLLYWOOD, CA [07 Nov 2005|08:45pm]
[ mood | amused ]

My time in LA is winding down, so I figured I should get on that whole tourist thing (seeing as I am essentially the ultimate tourist) and get me and my sign down to Hollywood. As soon as I got there I was bombarded with signs that read "NoHo." An entire city that is anti Kate Roberts? Now this is my kind of place! This was further re-affirmed when I discovered an entire store named after me. The House of David. Oh, and I am also apparently Jewish.  Which means that Steven Spielberg will be knocking on my door to make a movie about my epic journey some time soon. I hear he's a J&M fan too, you know.

My time in Hollywood also marked another big "first" for me. Yes, that's right. My first time using public transportation! I even got my own special seat and everything. I guess some kind of creature will eat you if you are old and you sit here. But don't let my beard fool you, I'm still incredibly young and suave.

And you know, no stop is complete without a run in with the law, and this was no exception. The people on the metro were so excited to see me, I was causing such a stir! The police came to see what all the fuss was about, but as soon as they saw that it was me, they jumped right in and joined the posse. Officer Mario thinks I am the man. And you know, he's right. I am pretty awesome. But not as awesome as John & Marlena!

Me and my entourage of fly honeys got off the metro and took a peek at the hollywood walk of fame. No one terribley interesting, that is, until I came upon ... dun dun dun... my very own star! I was incredibly surprised, and speechless! I could tell it was new, because it still had that proverbial new car smell, and the tape hadn't even come off yet. As they say, it's not easy being a pimp, but it's definitely worth the rewards. I stood next to my star and took many a picture for passing international tourists. The J&M love is definitely global!

And thus concludes my trip through the ever vast city of Los Angeles.

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WESTWOOD, CA [05 Nov 2005|01:25pm]
[ mood | satisfied ]

Seeing as I did not do this the last time I was in California, I decided now would be a good time to indulge in a little piece of heaven: an in n out burger. Some of you may be thinking, what's so special, it's just a piece of processed meat slabbed between 2 slices of bread, but you see my faithful readers, that is where you are wrong. The beef is real and untouched, and the dressings are 100% fresh. It is a majestic wonder of fastfod delight. I had many locations to choose from, but eventally settled on one in Westwood village.

Seeing as we were right across the street from the UCLA campus, it was not surprising to see so many students scattered throughout. The employees looked terribly busy, but one of them stopped to have his picture taken with me, because J&M are fresh and tasty, just like their food. After scarfing down a double double animal style, I decided to burn some calories and had myself a little walk around town, and maybe do a little shopping.

Now I will be damned , J&M are not only a supercouple, but they are also fashion. It's trendy to be a J&M fan!

I saw this book titled "Positions of the Day Playbook" inside another store. I have the sneaking suspicion that this book was modeled after the many positions that J&M have been in over the years. It was like taking a trip down memory lane as I flipped through the pages. I'm still waiting for that hot new love scene, Mr. Corday!

I also saw some xmas cards that I loved. Now originally they read "snowflakes probably wouldn't be so lovely if they were shaped like prostitutes" but I decided that the since the words "prostitute" and "Kate" are in fact synonymous, it would be ok to do a little quick editing. I think I like my new holiday cards much better now! :>

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Chatsworth, CA [05 Nov 2005|03:01am]
[ mood | naughty ]

I saw Deidre in her bra!

A very appropriate experience since I am in the PORN CAPITAL OF THE WORLD! It was very hot, and I nearly passed out. Well actually, I did pass out, and they had to do CPR and feed me an IV of margaritas (sugar free, carb free even!) to revive me. I will never forget that glorious sight. It is forever burned into my brain.

We tested out a brand new, just put together grill. We figured it would either blow us all up, or it would feed us some juicy burger goodness. Seeing as I am still alive, I think you can guess which one it did. It went really well with the 7 or so pitchers of margs we made. ;>

Seeing John & Marlena on a large 8 foot wall screen is also something to behold. I watched a series of very special editions, and felt very lucky to be a part of such a wonderful fandom.  On top of the luck I feel for getting to see Deidre in her bra, that is :D

Forgive the lack of photos in this entry. Much of the contents of this experience are confidential, and I would have to kill you if you knew what went on. Privileged posse info only, I'm afraid. ;>

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Salem, Anywhere, USA [04 Nov 2005|03:25pm]
[ mood | rejuvenated ]

No John and Marlena pilgrimage would be complete without a trip to their hometown. So of course I had to visit Salem, Anywhere, USA. It was quite a feat getting there though. Thank god I wasn't hit by a car! Why don't they have gnome crossing signs? They should! Gnomes are people too!

I was starving and there was no food in sight. I found what appeared to be some kind of cafe, but there was a sign that said "no food service". Oh well, I decided to walk around and get some shopping done. I tried to go get some things at Ballistix, but boy was the service horrible! There was nobody around and the merchandise was practically non-existant. I was hoping to see that mannequin that looked like Marlena, but I couldn't find it.

I wanted to call and complain, but I was told by *somebody* that the phones don't make long distance calls. It's a good thing I tried it out for myself because it worked fine!

So then I was going to catch a movie at Salem Cinema, but it seemed like nothing was playing. I went in to ask why they weren't showing any movies today and they told me that some billionaire had bought out the whole theater so he could take his girl on a date. How romantic! I wonder who they were...?

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Beverly Hills, CA [03 Nov 2005|10:53pm]
[ mood | optimistic ]

Tonight's the big night! The Days of our Lives 40th anniversary seminar, which took place at the Museum of Television & Radio. I show up at about 5ish, and immediatley a swarm of awesome girls surround me. Turns out it was the ultra elite J&M posse, rocking their signature shirts. Alone, we are great sources of vocal power, but together, we became a force! A photographer named David Livingston from Gettyimages took our photos, but I am not sure if they have surfaced on their site as of yet. David was pretty stoked about share the same name as me. And why wouldn't he? It's an awesome name, just like me.

The seminar was all together a great experience. The cast was great, and the posse represented. But the after party is where it gets really hot. My first target was the man himself, Ken Corday. He took one look at me, and gave me a thumbs up. I always knew he was a J&M fan. It's so nice not to have false hope.

Next up was Stephanie Sloane, editor for Soap Opera Digest. She was lovin me! Sloane was very nice to talk to, and very lovely in person. She made my little gnome heart fuzzy. I even had a little present for her, which she was very happy to receieve. I hope she can do something with it ;>.

My last, but defintely not least, encounter was with the godfather (mother?) herself, Sheri Anderson. When I saw her, we all squealed. Yes, squealed. She was so delighted by the noise, she asked us to do it again, and we happily complied. I could not believe that the brain behind the greatest creation in all the universe was standing before me. It was quite awesome. I will never wash my sign again. This gnome would squeal for her any day. We love Sheri. Gnomes for Sheri! Bring her back to Days!

And on that note, the reception ended, but man was that a great note to end on. I was feelin the J&M love all over the place, and so much positivity. I would take that as a sign of many great things to come.

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SAN DIEGO, CA [02 Sep 2005|06:09pm]
[ mood | rejuvenated ]

I've finally arrived in San Diego, where it never rains, there's no mayor, and there's more mexican food than McDonalds restaurants. The weather is a nice change to the perpetual grey clouds up in norcal.

I know NBC loves youngins so my first stop was the UCSD campus, where I cajoled the ultra serious nerd-letes at the library to drop trou and have a little J&M fun. At first I thought it  was a spaceship, but I clearly was mistaken. No twins wrapped in tin foil were to be found, just a bunch of kids getting their study on. Then I met a crazy chicken god, and it told me I needed more beer (my mug was looking a little empty...) so I headed for a nice refill at Porter's Pub, and caught the current episode of DAYS on the wall mounted tele.

The weather was really nice out, so I decided it would be a good time to work on my tan. The ladies don't like pale gnomes. So I headed to La Jolla Shores for some sun and relaxation. It was very awesome, but I'm still finding sand places I'd rather not mention *shifty eyes.* I heard there was beach next to this one called Black's beach, and I thought that sounded like the perfect kind of place to recruit new J&M fans! But then I discovered it was actually a nude beach (how fitting! hehe), and like most steamy J&M scenes, those pics aren't going to make it past the censors ;>

Nicely rested, I decided to make my way into downtown San Diego, to pay me respects to the Horton fountain. The Horton's after all, are our friends. I also stopped by the NBC building, stole a few donuts, and wrote on the bathroom stalls about the greatness of J&M. NBC, you are lucky to have this couple!

By this time, quite a few people were starting to get aroused by my sign, and there were fangirls and fanboys crying and screaming in the streets of San Diego. There was such a commotion in fact, that the San Diego fire department had to be called in to hose them back! The converted were setting fire to trash cans, blocking traffic, looting packs of strawberries, and spraying weed killer everywhere! But after a nice shot of the hose, they were able to cool off, and I told them all to go home and watch the sacred chronicles of J&M (aka, tapes) to which they all happily complied. 

Realizing that I had successfully conquered San Diego, I knew it was time to leave. So I hopped onto another plane, and set a course for my next stop: Hawaii!

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BERKELEY, CA [23 Aug 2005|02:27pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

I spent my last few hours in Hella Tight NorCal in the city where people are against things like pollution!! money!! greed!! capitalism!! Or rather, Berkeley, CA.

No, I didn't see a crazy naked man doing Kung-Fu, but I did see Rennis the squirrel! Or maybe one of his cousins lol, they all look alike. He wasn't too keen on peachie-O's, but he was one cool squirrel dude.

I also checked out the BART station. The people up here swear by it, but people down in SoCal think they are nuts for using public transportation.

It was nice to get back to the woods for a bit, seeing as they are my natural habitat. I did some relaxing by Strawberry Creek. Didn't go under the bridge though. What do you think I am, a troll?!

I took a trip up the Campanile, the clock tower, and took in a nice view of the bay and city below. The lady in the elevator jokingly warned me not to jump off, but why would I do that? J&M are finally getting a story!

And thus my tour of the California Bay Area was reaching it's close, but my journey was just beginning! And I headed off to the airport to catch my flight to San Diego. SoCal here I come!!!

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INTERLUDE: ODE TO J&M [22 Aug 2005|11:08pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Unchained Melody

Oh, my love, my darling,
I've hungered for your touch a long, lonely time.

Time goes by so slowly and time can do so much,
Are You Still Mine?

I need your love, I need your love,
God speed your love to me!

Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea,
To the open arms of the sea.

Lonely rivers sigh, "Wait for me, wait for me!"
I'll be coming home, wait for me!

Oh, my love, my darling,
I've hungered for your touch a long, lonely time

Time goes by so slowly and time can do so much,
Are You Still Mine?

I need your love, I need your love,
God speed your love to me!

Lonely mountains gaze at the stars, at the stars,
Waiting for the dawn of the day.

All alone, I gaze at the stars, at the stars,
Dreaming of my love for away.

Oh, my love, my darling,
I've hungered for your touch a long, lonely time.

Time goes by so slowly and time can do so much,
Are You Still Mine?

I need your love, I need your love,
God speed your love to me!

Up Where We Belong

Who knows what tomorrow brings
In a world, few hearts survive
All I know, is the way I feel
When it’s real, I keep my pray alive

The road is long
There are mountains in our way
But we climb steps every day

Love lift us up where we belong
Where the eagles cry, on a mountain high
Love lift us up where we belong
Far from the world we know
Up where the clear winds blow

Some hang on to "used-to-be"
Live their lives locking behind
All we have is here and now
All our lives, out there to find
The road is long
There are mountains in our way
But we climb steps every day

Love lift us up where we belong
Where the eagles cry, on a mountain high
Love lift us up where we belong
Far from the world we know
Up where the clear winds blow

Time goes by
No time to cry
Life’s you and I, alive, baby

Love lift us up where we belong
Where the eagles cry, on a mountain high
Love lift us up where we belong
Far from the world we know
Up where the clear winds blow

Love lift us up where we belong
Where the eagles cry, on a mountain high
Love lift us up where we belong
Far from the world we know
Up where the clear winds blow

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA [22 Aug 2005|08:39pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

Happy Anniversary RoJohn and Marlena!!

On this very special day, after offering up a plate of strawberries and cream to the altar of J&M, making the garden weed-free, and saying my 100 "John loves Marlena"s it was time to make my pilgrimmage to J&M holyland: Pier 29.

Oh jeebus, It was an awesome sight! Such a grand monument to the greatest supercouple of all time. I could feel the spirit of their love emanating from the site of their unforgettable 1991 reunion. I'll never forget it. *tips a 40*

Now that I've officially paid my respects...it's time to get a little kuh-ray-zaaay! I hit Pier-39 for some shopping and sight seeing. Took in a view of Alcatraz (still waiting for Kate to go to jail, BTW) and stopped in at Fisherman's Wharf. I got crabs! (And no, not those kinda crabs). I was excited to see a horse drawn carriage, as I was eagerly anticipating John and Marlena's own romantic carriage ride.(2.8! Holla!) Then I went to go watch the soap opera that is the sea lions in the bay.

Somewhere along the way, I had the (at the time) great idea to try to walk my way up to coit towers. Yeah, not so good. My sexy belly couldn't take all that walking. I thought my legs were going to wear down to stubs from all that uphill walking! Note to self: Never listen to J&M fans from Chicago. They are crazy. 3 more flights my rosey ass! I made it to the top finally, or what I thought was the top, but there was no tower to be found, just this trash can. So I cooled off with a nice soda (and a hot little lady) and went back on my way.

As I walked down Embarcadero, people were looking at me and reading my sign. I could tell. Most of them would double take, and some people would smile at me. Gives you that nice feeling in the put of your belly, like after watching a particularly uplifting episode of 7th Heaven or Full House. One tour guide of some sort was so excited to see me that he called his friend on his walkie-talkie and told him about me! I think I must have caused some kind of widespread commotion, because suddenly I had the fuzz after me! Damn the man! But it's all about the J&M in the end.

For dinner, I went to the Hard Rock Cafe, because even hoodlums gotta eat. The hostess gave me a picture to color and some crayons...only three colors though, so I had to do some creative blending, but I think it came out well, don't you think? :) Several of the waiters passed by and said hi to me, but two waiters in particular were especially in tune with the teachings of J&M. I took a picture with them at their request, because John and Marlena are just that awesome.

As night began to fall, I headed over to downtown SF for a bit of cheap souvenir shopping and then it was time to get down to business!

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NAPA VALLEY, CA [21 Aug 2005|06:52pm]
[ mood | drunk ]

Happy RoJohn and Marlena's Anniversary Eve Day!

*Moooooooooooo* *Mooooooooooooooo* I passed lots of happy cows (it's California, remember?) on my way to the famous Napa Valley (and christ did it stink. For a moment there I thought Kate was in the area), in search of the famous John and Marlena wine. Yes, I drink wine...we J&M fans are very classy. No cheap cookies and sunflowers seeds for us. :p

After what seemed like an eternity...I finally arrived at the winery...."Maison Orange", I nicknamed it since it reminded me of Maison Blanche  (except it was orange-ish lol), the setting of one of John and Marlena's greatest love stories.

There were lots of stairs and I'm only about a foot tall, so it was quite the trek, but I arrived just in time to catch the tour! The tour guide was VERY enthusiastic about wine...perhaps he'd had some earlier? After a short introductional video (I was a little beefed that we wouldn't watch it in French), he took us down to see where the wine is aged and bottled. That is when he noticed me! He took the time to pause the tour and direct attention to little 'ol me and my rockin' sign. Because I am so awesome. And who wouldn't want to pause to read that John Loves Marlena?

Then came the tasting :-) As I was sitting on the patio, the tour guide came back again to see me. I took a picture with him and was secure in the fact that the J&M love has officially been spread to the Napa Valley. It feels so good to be on such a holy mission.

Tomorrow it is back to the city for the holiest of holy days. All hail!!

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